So. The day is upon us. Soon we must decide.
And our options? They seem to boil down to a charred, acrid paste consisting of three more-or-less unpalatable elements:
1. Gordon Brown / Flailing Indecision. The clunking fist that's more like a boxing-glove on a spring attached to a beat-up old scarecrow on an unpredictably gusty day.
2. David Cameron / Small-minded Decisiveness. The man who does actually seem as if he'd get things done – just probably not the things I want done. The Man With The All-Powerful Cheeks.
3. Nick Clegg / Attractive Eccentricity. The man who has a modicum of actual charisma, but whose party is married to a couple of policies that are crazily unrealistic enough to give MC Escher a migraine.
Thank god, then, that I live in the Oxford West & Abingdon constituency – and am blest with a candidate whose calibre marks him as clearly deserving of my vote on his own merits: Dr Evan Harris. Stephen Fry has already explained why, so I shan't bother.
But I'm left with the faint sense that I'm somehow playing this game on easy mode. What the hell would I do if it weren't for my E-V-A-N-H-A-R-R-I-S cheat code?