Monday, 1 June 2009

Uncovering the Hooligan's Political Stance -- and your own?

Well ... In a few days' time (on 4 June, to be precise. And y'all like a bit of precision, don't you?) those of us that live in the EU zone have some elections.

In principle, the Intellectual Hooligan likes a good election.

(In practice, he tends to discover, too close to the time, that he's failed to register as a voter, or some such piffle. Details schmetails.)

So. Democracy. Yeh. You should vote. If you want to.

(As you can see, I'm something of a 'get out the vote' supremo.)

Anyhow, my internetty travels brought me into contact with a fine and politicogeekily entertaining site that allows you to find out which party most closely matches your own views. It's called eu profiler. And I recommend it if you:

  1. like filling in surveys
  2. like seeing graphs and charts representing yourself relative to other things
  3. want to find out exactly how much clear blue water lies between yourself and this bunch of despicable bastards
  4. aren't sure what the various political parties actually stand for. Or what you actually stand for. Or what anything actually stands for.

Go on, do it.

So (I can tell you're all burning to know) – what were the Intellectual Hooligan's results?

Oh, alright, since you insist...

First up, here's a graph showing where I fit into the political landscape, relative to the UK parties. I notice I've found myself a nice little niche, unoccupied by anyone else. Perhaps this means I should start up a party of my own?


I'm slightly troubled, however, that the only party that falls within my ellipse should be the Conservatives. Hmmm.

... But fear not. Because the ellipse lies. Lying bugger. And, as the following chart demonstrates, my views most closely correspond (marginally less chillingly) with those of the Liberal Democrats:


All very interesting.

I'll tell you, though, what is most interesting of all.

You see, the above results confine their matching to the UK parties (sensibly enough, since these are the ones for which I could actually vote. Were I (ahem) registered to do so). However, the site also has an option to match one's stance to all EU parties.

And guess which one is in 100% slap-bang exactly [that's statistical terminology, there] the same position as your favourite Hooligan?

The Communist Party of Luxembourg.

FVCK ON!



Anyway. I'd like y'all to do the test. And I'd like to hear where you, my dear blogprodders, feature in the political spectrum-that's-actually-not-a-spectrum-because-it's-more-like-a-scatter-diagram.

That's the comments section down there at the bottom. You know what to do.

(Don't you?)

6 comments:

D Cairns said...

Did the test and my thingy looked exactly the same as yours. I say, I hope it isn't all a dastardly plot by the lib dems to convince everyone to vote for them?

David said...

Haven't taken the test yet, but my initial reaction is that it shouldn't have an axis called 'socioeconomic'. Social views and economic views can be different, surely?

For instance, the phrase, 'socially liberal; economically conservative'. Or similar...

FieldVole said...

I ended up in the same place as you, too.

Billicatons said...

Thank you, all ... There clearly *is* a niche ... D Cairns and FieldVole, let the three of us band together and forge (in the white heat of our collective souls) the political party of the future ...

Billicatons said...

David, yes, I see what you mean. Though I guess almost any category is prone to further subcategorisation; almost any such mapping system bound to be hugely reductive.

Still, I agree: no necessary synergy between the social and the economic.

Nicholas said...

EUProfiler suggests that the European party closest to my soul is Stranka mladih Slovenije. My Slovenian sources tell me that this is the 'Slovenian Youth Party', but the news goes downhill from there:

"They had a few MPs but didn't get
into Parliament this time around. Basically, they're the political arm of the University of Ljubljana Student Union. Don't let the name fool you. The partly mostly consists of 30-something eternal students. But they do have some attractive policy issues. Fortunately for my country, Slovenian voters are able to see past words."

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