Sunday, 24 May 2009

Liveblogging a box of chocolates. Part 1

Tonight, as promised, the Intellectual Hooligan brings you the first big event of the Bank Holiday:


LIVEBLOGGING SAINSBURY'S 'TASTE THE DIFFERENCE' BELGIAN CHOCOLATE COLLECTION.

Oh yes.


11.23pm:
First up is Dark Orange Ganache. What's a ganache, anyway? It sounds like it could be a collective noun for a gathering of socially inept Conservative backbenchers. Anyway. This one's pretty much like a Terry's Chocolate Orange, but bitterer, and with irritating chewy little bits that get stuck between your teeth. The Intellectual Hooligan's verdict: barely okay.


11.31pm:
Next: Marc de Champagne. 'A rich dark ganache with a generous splash of Marc de Champagne in a creamy white chocolate cup', apparently. Generous is one word, certainly. But what's this Marc stuff? Says David H, 'top contributor' to the ever-reliable Yahoo Answers:

Marc is similar to Grappa in Italy, it is made from the grape reminace, stems, skins and pits from the Champange making process, they add grape juice and yeast and ferment it alot like wine, only like brandy it is distilled into a clear alcohol, were brandy is put in barrels like Congac to age, Marc is not and it is drank fresh.

It has a kick like a mule, and depending on the strength, it can run up to 100%. Sometimes they will add fruits or spices to make it more palatable.

Well, David H, thank you, first of all, for the commas. They really helped keep your prose fluid yet cogent. With regard to your description, I'm afraid I didn't taste anything much like Grappa in Sainsbury's take on this classic beverage. Less like being kicked by a mule, more like being suffocated with candyfloss by a sadistic Easter Bunny. Appallingly sweet.


11.51pm:
Caluwe's Caramel is the next 'treat' to find its way into the Hooligan's jaws. And this one, at least, has a moderately acceptable locus of flavour – simple, honest caramel. To be fair, it tastes kind of like a Rolo. But is (believe this) about 500% sweeter. Than a Rolo, for Christ's sake.

Slight chemical aftertaste. Mmm-nmm-nmm.


[12.06am:
Chocolate liveblog initative put on hold. Intellectual Hooligan feeling the strain. His palate, like that of any tasting professional, is a delicate sensor – and easily overwhelmed]


But tomorrow! The Intellectual Hooligan's verdict on Wild Strawberry Mousse! Cognac Cup! Aaaaand –– Caluwe's Praline! PLUS one more flavour even the name of which I cannot actually bring myself to share with you yet!

Yes!

So, um, stay tuned, won'tcha?

3 comments:

Ian said...

I'll be interested to see the comparison with my rolo-esque ones on Tuesday. ;)

Billicatons said...

Ian, I could never possibly even *dream* of insulting your finely-crafted creations with these miserable specimens. Do not for a moment think it.

Ian said...

Awww...that banana caramel sounds like it was quite the experience - we all appreciate the sacrifice, I think! :)

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