Totally and irredeemably a sh1t muncher.
Look at his big shiny sh1t-munching plate of a face.
There's a superb article by Tanya Gold on the Guardian website.
I don't know if you've seen the video of Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent already. I am not, let's say, an avid watcher of the show – so it was new to me. Have a watch, won't ya?
(I would embed the video here, but the arsemouths have disabled embedding. Because, heck, that might actually mean that more people would watch their crappy excuse for a programme. And what a tragedy that would be.)
Anyhow. Gold's article is particularly fabulous, I think, in its descriptions of the judges. She gives us the following almost novelistic gems:
'Simon Cowell, now buffed to the sheen of an ornamental pebble''Amanda Holden, the female judge, a woman with improbably raised eyebrows and snail trails of Botox over her perfectly smooth face'
and, also of Holden:
'Can't "ugly" people dream, you flat-packed, hair-ironed, over-plucked monstrous fool?'
Fvck on. This is good work. And that's saying nothing of the inspired description of Alan Sugar, which I'll leave you to find yourself.
... And Gold is absolutely right about the judge's responses. Especially that of Piers Morgan, who is possibly the most wretched drizzle of sh1t on the reality TV circuit (now there's a superlative for you). What a nasty, spite-shriveled little w^nker of a man. What a repulsive, morally wizened arseh0le.
Often, reality TV pundits are nasty. And often their nastiness is scripted and deliberately exaggerated for the cameras. But Morgan's is all the more appalling, being neither – but instinctive. Inbred.