Monday, 20 April 2009

The Joys of a Peaceful Country Walk


What scene more idyllic than an Oxfordshire riverbank? The gentle lapping of water, the chirruping of birds, the whispering of the warm spring zephyr amidst verdant leaves.

O pastoral charm indeed!

And onto this peaceful scene wander an elderly couple, their sweet voices blending serenely with the rural soundscape:

She: 'You won' even listen to me!'

He: 'I'm listnin' to you. I'm listnin'.'

She: 'You ain't been listnin'. You don't never listen. It's what I'm talkin' about.

[Pause]

... You just wish I would go away, don't you?'

He: 'I never said that. I never said that. Look, I'm listnin' to you aren't I?'

She: [With great vehemence] 'You don't ever listen!

[At this point, an echoingly gigantic fart is released. The creatures of the riverbank fall silent.]

[continuing, unfazed] ... You just think about yourself. You just wish I'd go away. You ain't been listnin'!'

1 comment:

Rij Bungle said...

Of course he hasn't been listening. His eardrums have imploded after a lifetime of gigantic-fart exposure. Silly old bint, she'll have his eyesight next.

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