Friday, 17 April 2009

And I'll tell you what else ...

While we're on the subject of desperate, lamentable mediocrity, may the Intellectual Hooligan direct your attention toward further cause for grief?

Here it comes:


Remember how I accepted that – for a brief period back in the early 90s – the panini might have been mildly sophisticated?

Well, at about the same time, I'm prepared to consider the possibility that it may've seemed even slightly zany, original or outside-the-box to incorporate the @ sign into trading names or brands.

That time is now well over.


I'm talking about creations such as


If you use the @ sign in your brand/event name in 2009, allow the Intellectual Hooligan to assure you that you look about as outside-the-box as the preserved remains of Vladimir friggin' Lenin.

Not convinced? Allow me to illustrate my argument with the following table:

Even if you do stubbornly maintain that your use of @ makes you look 'down with the kidz' and au fait with the lingo of the txt msg generation (a perspective I suggest you test by actually asking a few 'kidz' exactly how cool it makes you look) – even then, how about we consider the standpoint of a potential investor in your company.

'What? I'd invest in the stock of friggin Royal Bank of Scotland faster than I'd sink my hard-earned moolah into an organisation that considered the use of the @ sign in any way trendy. Yes indeed! Come to think of it, I'd be more likely to put my money on a leper in an extreme wrestling match.


(Such were the words of a potential investor in your company, whom we tracked down and interviewed, earlier today.)

Of course, the Intellectual Hooligan's ubernightmare is – you've guessed it – a Panini emporium called Paninis@The Park! or something equally cack-brained.

For such a hypothetical emporium – with apologies for the U turn – I can only say: bring on the friggin credit crunch.

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