Monday, 12 January 2009

2009 Trend Report (1)

Finger pressed firmly against the throbbing (doubtless cholesterol-clogged) artery of Collective Humanity, the Intellectual Hooligan brings you the first of a new series (and, boy, I'm good at this series lark. Perseverance is the key, dear reader). The theme: trend reports.

What's hot? What's not?

Questions of this nature, I have virtually no doubt, relentlessly batter themselves against your mind, like, um, moths upon the roof of a big, bright Center Parcs dome, or something.

Fear not, metaphorical-moth-tormented ones! Let the Hooligan be your Mentor Of Hip.

(Not in an anatomical way. You perverted, desperate individual.)

On The Way Up In 2009

  1. Telling stories - Stories are good.
  2. Nouveau Grunge - Loose, baggy look; loose, baggy, angry music.
  3. Home Movies That Are Actually Like Movies, As Opposed To Slideshows At The Local Over-50s Camera Club - Not crappy, sentimental camcorderfests, but DIY movies. In the same way as bands do DIY mp3s.
  4. Couples Nights - Quality entertainment, predator-free. Good value. Efficient.
  5. Detox - Boring, but omnipresent.
  6. Anton du Beke - Apparently. Don't sodding well ask me why.

On The Way Down In 2009

  1. Artfully Disheveled Look - It will cease to be cool for teenage/early-20s girls to dress as though they've just been doing dressage.
  2. Gordon Brown - He may currently be treading water boldly, spluttering in great gasps of oxygen; but soon we'll just be seeing the bubbles.
  3. Microsoft - Reason 1: 'I'm a PC?' Okay. Good. Remind me: what does PC stand for?  Reason 2: See video below. This is so chronic that I cannot begin to mitigate its hideousness with mere words.

The guy who's supposed to be in a band (if you made it that far, you obviously have time on your hands): what kind of a freakin' band is he in? I mean, Jesus. Not a nouveau-grunge one, at any rate.


Anonymous said...

Isn't that how Lily Allen composed all of her canon?

Billicatons said...

Yes. In a cafe. With admiring onlookers gradually gathering to watch.

Real world scenario
Try using 'Songsmith'* to write a song while you sing idiotically into your laptop in a public place: get stabbed.

* Note my compulsion to use inverted commas around the word 'Songsmith'. Rather fascinating. Here, inverted commas = disdain. The typographical equivalent of prodding a turd with a stick.

David said...

'Microsoft, huh? So it's pretty easy to use?'


Anonymous said...

Chris again:

This is now the subject of a major motion thread at Roger 'Hate-crimer' Herbert's Fastfude!!!!!

David said...

And linked to from that thread:

this experiment

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